Telling your child they have a medical condition or need to go to hospital is never easy, so just how do you find the right words? Make that conversation as stress-free as possible with our helpful tips
Keep it simple…
“How you broach your child’s illness will depend on his age and understanding, but keep it simple,” says Eleanor Jeans, Modern Matron on the paediatric ward at Benenden Hospital. Refer to your child’s condition by its name, but be aware that the name alone might not mean anything to them. You’ll need to expand on this with a brief description.
… But be honest
It’s natural to want to protect your nearest and dearest, but withholding information about an illness or treatment may make your child confused and distressed. “For example, a child who is not forewarned could be very upset when he wakes up after surgery and discovers he has been cut,” explains Eleanor. “Be reassuring but honest about what to expect.”
Don’t rely on words alone
Using pictures, diagrams and storybooks can help your child understand more about a condition, as can role-play games to act out what might happen in hospital.
Before you go to hospital, you could sit down with your child and watch the virtual tour of Benenden Hospital’s paediatric ward. Young patients, their parents and hospital staff all share their views in this short film.
Encourage questions
Find out as much as you can about your child’s illness so you’re ready to answer any questions that may come up. If you don’t know the answer, don’t make it up. Instead, say that you’ll try to find out.
Ask the experts
“Your child’s doctor and other health professionals are the best source of information about his condition,” says Eleanor. “They should explain procedures in child-friendly terms, and encourage your child to ask questions.” Support groups are also a great source of information and advice.
Members can also ring the 24/7 GP Advice Line on 0845 050 5247, to discuss any health or medical issues they or their family may have.
Be comforting
Let children know that it’s OK to be scared, upset or confused. If they are feeling anxious or sad, a cuddle is often the best medicine.
Talking to siblings
If you don’t tell your other children about their brother or sister’s illness, they may assume the worst, so be honest, giving them as much information as they need to understand. Also, be prepared for their worries to manifest themselves in anger, jealousy or attention-seeking behaviour. If you’re unsure about how to talk to your children about their sibling’s condition, ask the hospital’s play specialist for advice.
